Author Archives: Tessa Heywood

Is this wrong?

I’ve always thought that people who dress their dogs up in clothes are slightly disturbed – think the likes of Paris Hilton and various other useless Z-listers who are “papped” on a regular basis with their Yorkshire Terriers and Chihuahuas with bows in their hair and poking out the top of oversized handbags.

Why then, did I feel the need to get my poor Cocker Spaniel, Sylva, a grey hoodie?  I have absolutely no idea what possessed me but I have to say that I am completely delighted with it – every time I look at her I can’t stop laughing – she looks so cute.  Oh well, guess I’ve finally lost the plot!

Almost rich!

Imagine my delight when I opened my emails this morning to see a message from the National Lottery saying they had “some news about the ticket you bought for the Friday 16 September draw.”

Now I’m the kind of girl who keeps her feet on the ground.  Not for a moment did I think I’d won the mega millions first prize, but I did allow myself the fantasy of thinking that maybe a few thousand would be winging its way to me and the shopping list was already forming in my head.

Imagine the disappointment then, when checking my account, to find I’d received a message congratulating me on the fact that I’d won ………. £2.50!!!  I’ll try not to spend it all at once!

Cathedral City

Continuing with my occasional theme of Glasgow landmarks, I’d like to tell you a bit about the Cathedral which sits north of High Street and east of Cathedral Street, beside the Glasgow Royal Infirmary.

Built before the Reformation from the late 12th century onwards and serving as the seat of the Bishop and later the Archbishop of Glasgow, the building is a superb example of Scottish Gothic architecture. It is also one of the few Scottish medieval churches (and the only medieval cathedral on the Scottish mainland) to have survived the Reformation not unroofed. On 22 April 1581, James VI gifted the income from a number of lands to Glasgow town for its upkeep. He traced the ownership of these lands to money left by Archbishop Gavin Dunbar as a legacy for repairing the cathedral. The town council agreed on 27 February 1583 to take responsibility for repairing the kirk while recording they had no obligation to do so. The church survives because of this resolution.

Technically, the building is no longer a cathedral, since it has not been the seat of a bishop since 1690. However, like other pre-Reformation cathedrals in Scotland, it is still a place of active Christian worship, hosting a Church of Scotland congregation.

On a lampost outside the Cathedral you can see an example of Glasgow’s official Coat of Arms.  Somewhat surprisingly, the City of Glasgow did not have a coat of arms until the middle of the 19th century. In 1866, the Lord Lyon King at Arms gave approval for one which incorporated a number of symbols and emblems which had been used on official seals up until then – all of which were associated with St Mungo.  St Mungo (who was originally named Kentigern) is said to have preached the sermon containing the words “Lord, let Glasgow Flourish by the preaching of the word.” This was subsequently truncated in Victorian times into the more secular “Let Glasgow Flourish” which is still in use today.

Many people, including Glaswegians themselves, are only vaguely aware of the stories and legends associated with the coat of arms. So here is the background to:

There’s the tree that never grew,
There’s the bird that never flew,
There’s the fish that never swam,
There’s the bell that never rang.

The Tree That Never Grew

The tree in the coat of arms is a now sturdy oak tree, but it started out as a branch of a hazel tree. The legend says that St Mungo was in charge of a holy fire in St Serf’s Monastery and fell asleep. Some boys who were envious of his favoured position with St Serf put out the fire. But St Mungo broke off some frozen branches from a hazel tree and, by praying over them, caused them to burst into flames.

The Bird That Never Flew

This commemorates a wild robin which was tamed by St Serf and which was accidentally killed. St Mungo was blamed for the death but he is said to have taken the dead bird, prayed over it and it was restored to life.

The Fish That Never Swam

The coat of arms always shows the fish with a ring held in its mouth. This is because a King of Strathclyde had given his wife a ring as a present. But the Queen gave it to a knight who promptly lost it. Some versions of the story say that the King took the ring while the knight was asleep and threw it in the river. The King then demanded to see the ring – threatening death to the Queen if she could not do so. The knight confessed to St Mungo who sent a monk to catch a fish in the river Clyde. When this was brought back (presumably catching salmon in the Clyde in those days was a lot easier then!) St Mungo cut open the fish and found the ring. When the Bishop of Glasgow was designing his own seal around 1271, he used the illustration of a salmon with a ring in its mouth and this has come down to us in today’s coat of arms.

The Bell That Never Rang

 In 1450, John Stewart, the first Lord Provost of Glasgow, left an endowment so that a “St Mungo’s Bell” could be made and tolled throughout the city so that the citizens would pray for his soul. The bell was still ringing out in 1578, as there is an entry in the City Treasurer’s accounts two shillings (10p) “for one tong to St Mungowis Bell.” A new bell was purchased by the magistrates in 1641 and that bell is on display in the People’s Palace museum near Glasgow Green.

In 1631, another bell was made, this time for the Tron Church on which was inscribed the words “Lord, let Glasgow Flourish by the preaching of the word.” Whether Glasgow flourished with spiritual assistance or the hard work of its people (or both), there is no doubt that Glasgow, now the largest city in Scotland, (twice the size of the capital, Edinburgh) has certainly prospered.

Never Forget

Much has been written today and for the past 10 years about the dreadful events of 11 September 2001.  I don’t feel that there is much more that I can add but didn’t want to let the day go past without paying my own small tribute to those who lost their lives 10 years ago today.  God Bless, Sleep Tight.

Where dreams were dreamed

One of the most interesting looking buildings to be found in my adopted home city of Glasgow is the Clyde Auditorium, known to us locals as “The Armadillo”. Sitting on the site of the now infilled Queen’s Dock on the River Clyde, it is adjacent to the Scottish Exhibition and Conference Centre (SECC).

It was completed in 1997 and earned its affectionate nickname due to the similarity of its shape to that of the animal of the same name. It is often been compared with the Sydney Opera House although this wasn’t the architects’ inspiration for the design, which was in fact an interlocking series of ship hulls in reference to the Clyde’s shipbuilding heritage.

The building has quickly become one of the most recognisable on Clydeside and one of the images most associated with modern Glasgow. Its success has led to planning for a third venue on the complex – the Scottish Hydro Arena, due for completion in 2013, and already with a nickname of its own – “the Oyster”.

Those of you who watch the Simpson will also remember that the facade was a venue that featured in a promotional video which parodied the famous Susan Boyle audition for Britain’s Got Talent in January 2009.

I count myself as very lucky to have been in the audience that day when Susan stepped out onto the stage and blew us away with her amazing voice. I was one of those people who sniggered behind my hand and sank down in my seat as this rather strange looking woman in a shiny gold dress with black tights and a grey, frizzy perm strolled onto the stage and told us she wanted to be talked about in the same breath as Elaine Paige.

None of us there that night will ever forget how, in just a split second, Susan taught us an extremely valuable lesson … don’t judge a book by its cover and give everyone a chance to show what they are capable of doing.

Another lasting image of that night is the one of Simon Cowell, head cupped in his hands and a broad grin on his face. If I were to insert a thought bubble onto this picture it would simply say “£££££££”.

Whatever your opinion of this type of reality show, the Armadillo has a place in history and will be forever known as the place where Susan Boyle was discovered and where dreams CAN come true.

1,000+

Since writing my first ever blog post on the 15th May 2011, I have today reached a total in excess of 1,000 views … not bad going for just slightly less than 4 months.

Thank you to all you lovely people who follow me  – please keep reading and let me know what you think.  I just love writing this blog!!!

‘Ground Zero Mosque’? The reality is less provocative

Things seem awfully heated in America just now; so heated you could probably toast a slice of bread by jabbing it on a stick and holding it toward the Atlantic.  As we approach the 10th anniversary of 9/11, millions are hopping mad over the news that a bunch of triumphant Muslim extremists are about to build a “victory mosque” slap bang in the middle of Ground Zero. 

The professional exaggerators who initially raised objections to the “Ground Zero Mosque” keep calling it the “Ground Zero Mosque”, incidentally, because it’s a catchy title that paints a powerful image – specifically, the image of a mosque at Ground Zero.

When I first heard about it, I imagined it was just a rumour that had grown arms and legs in the telling – I was wrong.  The “Ground Zero Mosque” is a genuine proposal, but it’s slightly less provocative than its critics’ nickname makes it sound. For one thing, it’s not at Ground Zero.  Also, it isn’t a mosque.

Wait, it gets less interesting. It’s not being built by extremists either. Cordoba House, as it’s known, is a proposed Islamic cultural centre, which, in addition to a prayer room, will include a basketball court, restaurant, and swimming pool. Its aim is to improve inter-faith relations. It’ll probably also have comfy chairs and people who smile at you when you walk in the door.

To get to the Cordoba Centre from Ground Zero, you’d have to walk in the opposite direction for two blocks, before turning a corner and walking a bit more. The journey should take roughly two minutes, or possibly slightly longer if you’re heading an angry mob who can’t hear your directions over the sound of their own enraged yelling.

New York is a densely populated city and there are lots of other buildings and businesses within two blocks of Ground Zero, including a McDonald’s and a Burger King, neither of which has yet been accused of serving burgers and chips on sacred ground. Nevertheless, for the opponents of Cordoba House, two blocks is too close, full stop. However, they haven’t produced a map pinpointing precisely how close is OK.

That’s literally what I’d ask them given the opportunity.  I’d stand there pointing at a map. That hasn’t happened. Instead, 70% of Americans are opposed to the “Ground Zero Mosque”, presumably in many cases because they’ve been led to believe it literally is a mosque at Ground Zero.

According to a recent poll, one in five Americans believes Barack Obama is a Muslim, even though he isn’t. A quarter of those who believe he’s a Muslim also claimed he talks about his faith too much. Americans aren’t stupid. Clearly these particular Americans have either gone insane or been seriously misled. Where are they getting their information?

Sixty per cent said they learned it from the media. Which means it’s time for the media to give up.  Seriously, give up now because either you’re making things worse or no one’s paying attention anyway!

What’s it called?

Now that the aforementioned roadworks have gone from the M80, it is possible for drivers to enjoy the full effect of the Cumbernauld Mermaid.  The 33ft high mermaid, named Arria and designed by artist Andy Scott, overlooks the A80 northbound to the north of Auchenkilns junction in Cumbernauld.  The £250,000 publicly funded work is the latest in a long line of monolithic sculptures springing up around the country in the name of public art.

Her form, similar to a giant metal mermaid, features two huge swooping arcs inspired by the Gaelic name for Cumbernauld, “comar nan allt”, which means “coming together of waters.”  and it is hoped the work will help Cumbernauld start ridding itself of its dismal image that has seen it win the Carbuncle Award for poor architecture.

The poem “Watershed” penned by award-winning Scottish poet Jim Carruth is displayed at the foot of the sculpture, which sports a retro hairstyle meant to evoke the optimistic early days of the 1960s-built new town.

People generally don’t have anything particularly nice to say about Cumbernauld, but lets not forget some of its plus points:

  • It was the setting for the film Gregory’s Girl.
  • It is within easy commuting distance of Glasgow but is just seven miles from the picturesque Campsie Fells.
  • House prices are lower than in much of the Central Belt.
  • The £40million Antonine Shopping Centre opened in 2007.
  • It is a business hub boasting the world headquarters of AG Barr and Yaskawa Electronics and the UK base of OKI.
  • It has its own airport.

Hmmm … maybe it needs a little more than a mermaid statue.  If you were to ask local residents I’m pretty sure they’d say that Cumbernauld needs burning down and rebuilding, especially the town centre. It needs new shops, new restaurants and new bars … something to liven the place up at night.   Lets hope this is just the start of good things to come for the area.

Where have all the cones gone?

For the first time, ever, I was able to drive along the M80 from Glasgow to Falkirk this morning without a single traffic cone in sight on either carriageway.  Now some people reading this will say “so what?” but for those of us who have used this route regularly over the past 10 years or so, you will understand what a momentous occasion this is!

For as long as I can remember there have been speed limits and hold-ups on this road and the delays and frustrations for anyone travelling north to places such as Perth, Dundee, Inverness and Aberdeen are well documented.  What an absolute pleasure it is to be able to drive at 70mph at last!  For all my friends who live in Cumbernauld I am sure you will have been dancing in the street and celebrating being released from the prison of roadworks that have been endured for so long.

In fact, it is almost as exciting as the recent opening of the M74 extension … almost, but not quite!

The origin of the modern traffic cone is a mystery but further research has been carried out on the subject and for those interested information on its evolution can be found at www.trafficcone.com, the home of the Traffic Cone Preservation Society.

Just a thought …

Instead of spending millions of pounds turning George Square in Glasgow into a replica of Philapdelphia for the new Brad Pitt movie World War Z (that’s zee apparently and not zed), replacing all of the road signs and traffic lights with American equivalents and shipping in a load of yellow taxis for good measure, why did they not just make the film in, well, Philadelphia?  Surely that would have been a lot cheaper and, perish the thought, a lot more authentic? 

It has also been reported that the Jolie/Pitt entourage hired an entire train for their journey today – you can bet they didn’t suffer the delays and disasters that befall us mere mortals on this route and you can bet your bottom dollar they didn’t have to eat the same revolting food that we can purchase from the buffet car!!!  But are they happy?  ……….