Category Archives: General
Sprinkle Wars
And so to today’s most ridiculous news story …
Police in the West Midlands have released a recording of a woman who dialled 999 to request help in a row over the number of sprinkles on an ice cream. During the minute-long call, the woman told the operator: “It doesn’t seem like much of an emergency but it is a little bit.”
In the recording, the woman can be heard complaining about the ice cream she has been given. “I’ve ordered an ice cream and he’s put bits on one side and none of the other,” she said. “He’s refusing to give me my money back and saying I’ve got to take it like that.”
The Police would have been well within their rights to tell her she was skating on thin ice, put her in cold storage where she could cool off and then perhaps explain the difference to her between a “99” and 999.
After all is said and done:
“… everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward.” ― Brandon Sanderson, The Rithmatist.
Never rely on predictive text!
What do Leona Lewis and my lovely Dad have in common? Well up until this week I would have said “absolutely nothing apart from a surname!”. That was before I heard the story about a tweet sent by the ubiquitous Simon Cowell last week.
Telling his 8.5 million Twitter followers about X Factor alumni Leona Lewis’ new Christmas album, he fell foul of dreaded predictive text and the message went out as Leonard Lewis instead – I’d like to think that Dad would have found that quite amusing, particularly since the Cowell and my Dad actually attended the same school in North London (albeit quite a few years apart!).
The story was also covered on the ITV2 show, Celebrity Juice, on Thursday night and was met with much hilarity from the studio guests and provided a laugh out loud moment for me in my living room too!!!
It’s all in the name
News last week that a rare ‘zonkey’ – the offspring of a male zebra and a female donkey – has been born at an animal reserve in Florence, Italy.
Adorable Ippo, who has the colouring of a donkey but the distinctive stripes of a zebra, is reported to be in good health. She was apparently born after her father clambered over a fence to reach her mother.
Is it just me or have they missed a trick? Surely she should have been called “Debra” !!!
And they call it puppy love!
I think cartoonist Rupert Fawcett had Sylva in mind when he drew these 2 cartoons!!!
Girl Power
Not a country often associated with female authority, I was surprised to read that the Dubai Police have decided to assign their latest high-speed vehicle, a luxury Ferrari, to the female division!
The arrival of the Ferrari FF, or Ferrari Four, follows the addition of a Chevrolet and Lamborghini earlier this month. The Italian sports car, which has a top speed of 208 mph, will be mainly used for patrolling the tourist areas of the city. Can someone send me an application form please – I don’t even mind wearing the green uniform!
Take a walk on the wild side
We’ve all heard of a zebra crossing – but have you ever seen an elephant seal crossing?
This is exactly the sight that shoppers in Brazil were amazed to see when a massive elephant seal hit the busy high street on Saturday. The seal waddled out of the ocean and into the city of Balneario Camboriu where it went for a walk – even using the proper crossings. Cars were blocked for 20 minutes whilst police officers splashed water on the seal to keep it wet. After about an hour and a half in the city, the seal returned on the sea and swam away unharmed.
Which leaves me with one burning question. Why did the elephant seal cross the road? To get to the other tide of course! BOOM!!!
More haste, less speed
2013 has been an eventful year so far for actress Jennifer Lawrence … and we’re only two months in!
Hot on the heels of her recent calamity at the Screen Actors Guild Awards where she caught and ripped the bottom of her dress on a chair in her hurry to get up on stage to collect her award, she’s created headlines yet again by falling up the stairs on her way to collect her Best Actress award at last night’s Oscars!
She must surely be the most accident-prone actress in Hollywood!!!
Now I am sure she’s delighted with all these awards but I’m guessing she may also be mortified at these mishaps. It’s one thing to fall over when few people are watching but it’s quite something else to do it in front of millions of TV viewers!
So Jennifer, if you’re reading this, I have a few words of advice. Take your time, look where you’re going and definitely make sure you sack your stylist – a shorter dress would be far less hazardous for you love!!!
Sorry … couldn’t resist!
Like many people, I am very unsure about whether the truth will ever be known regarding the death of Reeva Steenkamp and Oscar Pistorius’ part in it. There are more than likely months of accusations and denials to come before we find out what the Court in Pretoria will decree and what Mr Pistroius’ likely penalty [if any] will be.
The system there is quite different from our own. Jury trials were scrapped more than 40 years ago because all-white juries were seen as unlikely to give black defendants a fair trial, a single judge is considered less susceptible to public opinion or media comments, and so the South African media is more free to report details about the Oscar Pistorius case than the media in many other countries where such reporting would be seen as prejudicial.
Needless to say, however, I was amused at reports today that on day 2 of his bail hearing the prosecution argued that Pistorius may flee if he is granted bail. As a double amputee, why not just confiscate his prosthetic legs … he won’t get far without them ….. but leave him with them and the Bladerunner will probably disappear in a cloud of dust!
Burger Wars
In the wake of the horsemeat fiasco, it has today emerged that Burger King’s Twitter account has been hacked with the profile picture being replaced by a McDonalds logo and a message that the company had been sold to the rival hamburger chain.
“We just got sold to McDonalds! Look for McDonalds in a hood near you,” one post read. It also posted messages such as: “If I catch you at a Wendys, we’re fightin!”
The tweets stopped after a little more than an hour and meanwhile McDonalds tweeted in response to the apparent hack: “We empathize with our @BurgerKing counterparts. Rest assured, we had nothing to do with the hacking.”
It is not known who might be responsible for the breach but I do wonder if it has anything to do with the Animal Rights Movement … after all, isn’t hacking a horseriding discipline?
Should have worn a belt!
And so to my picture of the day!
Here is a photograph of a masked protester in Egypt, caught quite literally with his trousers down yesterday as he hurled rocks at riot police in clashes near Cairo’s Tahrir Square.
I do not condone the violence in any way – I just wanted to show how this ridiculous trend of wearing low-slung jeans can have the most embarrassing of consequences, namely his picture splashed across websites and newspapers worldwide – at least it looks as though his blue boxer shorts are clean, his mum will be so proud!!!
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