And so to today’s most ridiculous news story …
Police in the West Midlands have released a recording of a woman who dialled 999 to request help in a row over the number of sprinkles on an ice cream. During the minute-long call, the woman told the operator: “It doesn’t seem like much of an emergency but it is a little bit.”
In the recording, the woman can be heard complaining about the ice cream she has been given. “I’ve ordered an ice cream and he’s put bits on one side and none of the other,” she said. “He’s refusing to give me my money back and saying I’ve got to take it like that.”
The Police would have been well within their rights to tell her she was skating on thin ice, put her in cold storage where she could cool off and then perhaps explain the difference to her between a “99” and 999.
After all is said and done:
“… everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward.” ― Brandon Sanderson, The Rithmatist.
Not a country often associated with female authority, I was surprised to read that the Dubai Police have decided to assign their latest high-speed vehicle, a luxury Ferrari, to the female division!
The arrival of the Ferrari FF, or Ferrari Four, follows the addition of a Chevrolet and Lamborghini earlier this month. The Italian sports car, which has a top speed of 208 mph, will be mainly used for patrolling the tourist areas of the city. Can someone send me an application form please – I don’t even mind wearing the green uniform!
Take a walk on the wild side
We’ve all heard of a zebra crossing – but have you ever seen an elephant seal crossing?
This is exactly the sight that shoppers in Brazil were amazed to see when a massive elephant seal hit the busy high street on Saturday. The seal waddled out of the ocean and into the city of Balneario Camboriu where it went for a walk – even using the proper crossings. Cars were blocked for 20 minutes whilst police officers splashed water on the seal to keep it wet. After about an hour and a half in the city, the seal returned on the sea and swam away unharmed.
Which leaves me with one burning question. Why did the elephant seal cross the road? To get to the other tide of course! BOOM!!!
Witness for the prosecution
When prosecutors recently asked for an account of a crime from a “PC Peach”, they didn’t realise that Peach was the name of a police dog! Officers were extremely irritated at the request and so they completed the form as it if had been written by the Alsatian – and signed it with a paw print!
The form was then pinned up at a West Midlands Police Station for the amusement of colleagues who are frequently at odds with the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) over their handling of cases. Another officer then posted it on a Facebook page but quickly deleted it, though not before it was seen by colleagues in West Yorkshire police who liked it so much that they posted it on Twitter and the image has now gone viral, having been shared over 150 times.
The CPS, however, failed to see the funny side and officials are believed to have complained to police that their mistake has been turned into a very public joke.
The original officer has referred himself to the internal discipline unit but sources say he is unlikely to be reprimanded, despite new guidelines in the last week for police on the safe use of the internet which advises officers against sharing “operational material” online.
PC Peach declined to comment as anything he might say could later be used as evidence against him!