Category Archives: Facebook

Witness for the prosecution

When prosecutors recently asked for an account of a crime from a “PC Peach”, they didn’t realise that Peach was the name of a police dog!  Officers were extremely irritated at the request and so they completed the form as it if had been written by the Alsatian – and signed it with a paw print!

The form was then pinned up at a West Midlands Police Station for the amusement of colleagues who are frequently at odds with the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) over their handling of cases.  Another officer then posted it on a Facebook page but quickly deleted it, though not before it was seen by colleagues in West Yorkshire police who liked it so much that they posted it on Twitter and the image has now gone viral, having been shared over 150 times.

PC Peach

The CPS, however, failed to see the funny side and officials are believed to  have complained to police that their mistake has been turned into a very public joke.

The original officer has referred himself to the internal discipline unit but sources say he is unlikely to be reprimanded, despite new guidelines in the last week for police on the safe use of the internet which advises officers against sharing “operational material” online.

PC Peach declined to comment as anything he might say could later be used as evidence against him!

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#ridiculous

The world really has gone mad!    We read today about another poor baby being given THE most ridiculous name I’ve heard of to date!  Crazy baby names are nothing new, in fact they seem to be almost de rigueur in some circles but Hashtag?  As in, well, #hashtag?  Really?

“Hashtag Jameson was born at 10 o’clock  last nite,” the proud parent announced on Facebook  last Saturday night. “She weys 8pounds and i luv her so much!!!!!!”  Spelling-challenged friends started leaving equally creative congratulations in the comments.  “Aww babes you finally had youre Tweetybird xxx,” one wrote.

Now this could of course be just another poorly executed viral marketing campaign but it’s well within the realms of possibility – if Frank Zappa can call his offspring Moon Unit and Gwyneth Paltrow call hers Apple, why can’t a non-celebrity chose an equally ridiculous moniker?

The internet has of course been awash with some slightly cruel hashtags of their own, including #Foolishparents,  #YourParentsHateYou, #StupidestNameEver but despite the initial shock of this most recent naming debacle, parents have always named their kids after things that are important to them, whether it’s a beloved relative, a hot celebrity or, today, social media.  In 2011 a couple in Egypt named their daughter Facebook, while in Israel another was named Like.  Now that little Hashtag has arrived, all we need is a tiny Twitter, a sweet little YouTube and a delightful Digg and the social media baby name trend will be properly established!

Let us hope that little Hashtag will find a way to avoid problems in the playground that will surely happen when you carry such a mighty burden, but you can’t help but wonder what it will be like for her in 20 years time when she has to explain what a hashtag is!

They’re metaphors Richard

We should perhaps forgive the poor naive men who think that women spend their ‘time of the month’ horse-riding along beaches, rollerblading and skydiving, and that period blood is blue, for there are, it seems, a few of them out there.

One of these is Richard Neill, a disillusioned boyfriend who light-heartedly bemoaned being mis-sold the truth about menstruation on Bodyform’s Facebook page. His witty tale of woe prompted much amusement on the social networking site, and his message has, to date, received 86,743 ‘likes’ and 3,735 comments.  This is what he wrote on 8th October:

“Hi, as a man I must ask why you have lied to us for all these years.
As a child I watched your advertisements with interest as to how at this  wonderful time of the month that the female gets to enjoy so many  things, I felt a little jealous.
I mean bike riding, rollercoasters, dancing, parachuting, why couldn’t I  get to enjoy this time of joy and ‘blue water’ and wings!! Dam my  penis!!
Then I got a girlfriend, was so happy and couldn’t wait for this joyous adventurous time of the month to happen …..you lied !!
There was no joy, no extreme sports, no blue water spilling over wings and no rocking soundtrack oh no no no.
 Instead I had to fight against every male urge I had to resist screaming wooaaahhhhh bodddyyyyyyfooorrrmmm bodyformed for youuuuuuu as my lady  changed from the loving, gentle, normal skin coloured lady to the little girl from the exorcist with added venom and extra 360 degree head spin.  Thanks for setting me up for a fall bodyform, you crafty b*gger!”

Spotting a golden PR opportunity, the company responded with this hilarious spoof video response that has to be the funniest video I’ve seen in a long time – ladies, please watch and enjoy!

Think before you tweet!

I am all for freedom of speech but there are a few basic rules to follow when you decide to use Social Media sites such as Twitter and Facebook or if, like me, you want to also blog as well.  The main one being:

Think before you hit the Post or Publish button!

This advice is never more important than if you are a person who is already in the public eye – footballers especially please take note!  Some of the worst offenders have been:

  • Manchester United and England defender Rio Ferdinand who was fined £45,000 in August for bringing the game into disrepute after responding to a racially-suggestive tweet about Ashley Cole
  • Arsenal midfielder Emmanuel Frimpong was also fined £6,000 in the same month after he used a derogatory term about Tottenham fans
  • Then Liverpool winger Ryan Babel was fined £10,000 in January 2011 after he linked to a mocked-up picture of referee Howard Webb in a Manchester United shirt

So there was little surprise this morning when I read that Ashley Cole has been charged with misconduct by the Football Association in relation to a Twitter comment he posted about the governing body.   Responding to the FA’s judgement in the John Terry racism case, he tweeted on Friday: “Hahahahaa, well done #fa I lied did I, #BUNCHOFT***S”.   He has now deleted this tweet and issued an “unreserved apology” to the FA but the damage has already been done and he has until 16:00 BST on Thursday, 11 October to respond to the charge.

However, when former England captain Alan Shearer told the BBC at the weekend that Cole should be banned for Friday’s World Cup qualifier against San Marino as a punishment, Cole, 31, then responded by retweeting a message which criticised Shearer.  When will he learn?

Former England left-back Graeme Le Saux is working with the FA to guide players on how they communicate.  The former Southampton, Chelsea and Blackburn Rovers defender Le Saux is currently helping to make videos for the FA which will be shown to players about how the governing body operates and the punishments they can hand out for unacceptable behaviour, including the use of social media.  He said this weekend – “The whole pleasure and access that social media gives you is that you are in control of what goes out there, but you must be sensible enough to hold that back.”

Social Media is not for people to bully, insult or intimidate, it is for communication.  My advice to these players is straightforward.  Instead of using your hands to type insulting messages for all to see, try just using your feet to kick a ball – this is after all what you’re being paid for!!!

Dress for success

Many years ago I read a book called ‘Dress for Success’ by John T Molloy which I understand has now spawned into several editions covering separate versions for men and women and updating the changes in fashion over the last 20/30 years since the original.

Many of the original principles, however, are still appropriate today and I know from personal experience that it is amazing how a minimum of effort in the style department can maximize results in both your professional and personal life.  For example, in my younger, thinner days I had a dress which was perfectly smart and business-like while I was standing up, but as soon as I sat down, there was a hint of cleavage and stocking tops that never failed to win me the order!  But I digress …

It was with interest therefore, that I’ve been reading today about the criticism of Mark Zuckerberg for wearing a “hoodie” to this weeks presentations to talk up Facebook’s floatation, its first major sale of shares.

Some observers were quick to suggest that this was perhaps a mark of immaturity or of not really caring … Might I suggest, however, that at the age of 28 and with the floatation potentially valuing Facebook as high as $100bn (£62bn),  he can wear what the hell he likes and all the suits in the world won’t change his amazing success!

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