Category Archives: Glasgow
Let the train take the strain?
In the last week I have spent upwards of 40 hours on various trains, travelling around the country as part of my latest consultancy assignment.
It started last Thursday when, with about half an hour’s notice, I had to make my way from my home in Glasgow to a hotel at East Midlands Airport for a briefing at 8.30am the following day. After discovering there are now no flights at all from Glasgow Airport to East Midlands Airport (despite the fact that I have done this journey before!), I had no option but to go by train. This was my journey:
18:00 Get dropped off at Mount Florida Station for train to Glasgow Central and pick up tickets
18:40 Take train from Glasgow Central to Warrington Bank Quay – running 12 minutes late for no apparent reason
21:20 Arrive at Warrington Bank Quay and take a taxi (in the rain) to Warrington Central
22:03 Take train from Warrington Central to Nottingham, although this train was in fact running 20 minutes late – no explanation given
01:00 Arrive at Nottingham and take taxi to hotel at East Midlands Airport
01:30 Check into my room at the hotel
Fortunately my journey home the following night was made easier when one of my colleagues very kindly took me to Warrington Bank Quay so all I had to do (after a 3 hour drive) was to take one train back to Glasgow before getting home at some time around 10.30pm – exhausted and none too pleased to have to take the very same journey again two days later as I needed to be back in Nottingham for 09:00 on Monday morning!
I took a different route on Sunday, leaving home at 4:00pm and arriving at the hotel at 11.30pm. The same colleague took me to Warrington Bank Quay the following afternoon and I arrived back home in Glasgow for a brief sleep at around 10:30pm before setting off again the next day (Tuesday), this time to Elgin!
Setting my alarm for 5:15am, I then caught the 7:06am to Inverness and then another train to Elgin, arriving at 11:41. After a day of meetings I then returned home, via Aberdeen on this leg of the journey, and was back in my flat at about 10:00pm – extremely tired and emotional!!!
I know you’re mostly sitting down while on the train but it is an extremely stressful and tiring experience as people who commute regularly using this mode of transport will probably concur. It would be less stressful if the train companies could make more of an effort to run the services on time so that you’re not scared of missing the various connections that might mean you being stranded miles from your final destination in the dead of night. If they could also make sure there are enough carriages for the amount of people using the service that would also be helpful, thus avoiding the dreadful congestion on board and making the journey so much more comfortable for everyone!
Moan over – perhaps next time I should just take the car?????
This little piggy
The latest ‘fad’ amongst people with more money than sense is to buy one of these adorable little micropigs. With their wrinkled little snouts, tiny trotters and oversized ears, they are irresistibly cute. But while these micro pigs may be minuscule, their price tag is anything but. In exchange for up to £700, owners take home a pet which weighs just 9oz at birth and is the size of a tea cup. Two years later the pigs are fully grown – but still only weigh up to 65lb and stand at around 14in tall. They can live for up to 18 years and make popular pets as they are low maintenance, quiet and surprisingly clean.
I would love one but think the idea may be slightly better than the reality – whichever way you look at it, pigs were never meant to be domestic pets!
Tweet of the week
My award for Tweet of the Week goes to Kate Higgins @burdzeyeview for: “How can someone so clearly as unrehabilitated as Tommy Sheridan have been eligible for early release? #justasking”
Closely followed in 2nd place by Aarran McPherson @AarranMcPherson for: “Tommy Sheridan is out of prison, I have no doubt in my mind that this won’t be the last time I say that.”
It’s OK to ask
Keep meaning to post this video. It’s called “It’s OK to ask” and I was pleased to be involved with the young people in the early stages of the project. The message is a good one to get across so please share. Thank you.
Sense of humour failure?
Following on from my Can’t be Arsed post (http://wp.me/p1z7xq-cA) I thought I’d share with you some of the comments that I’ve received from people on the RailUK forum who took exception to my blog post. People who clearly haven’t a clue what irony is and, to be frank, take themselves and their love of all things “trains” just a tad too seriously!
When you write things like this you can never be sure of the reactions you’re going to get – these are priceless! What next I ask myself?????
Can’t be arsed
Did you know that the price of a single off-peak fare from Glasgow to Edinburgh is just 10p less than an off-peak return fare for the same journey? No? Nor did I until yesterday. The “wonderful” organisation that is Scotrail had me blowing steam out of my ears (and probably various other orifices!) with their “can’t be arsed” attitude and complete lack of customer service skills. Had there not been 2 helpful people based at Haymarket, it would not be a blog posting but a stiff letter of complaint to Head Office I can tell you!
So, what got me all of a lather? Well, rushing to get the train through from Glasgow Queen Street, I inadvertently pressed the wrong button on the ticket machine and seeing the cost was £11.30 I didn’t realise until only one ticket and a receipt dropped into the tray. As the train was due to leave and I didn’t want to miss it, I decided to make a run for it and talk to the guard on the train. This I duly did, to be told that he “can’t do anything about it” and I’d have to go to the ticket office in Glasgow – great idea since I was heading in totally the opposite direction and anyway this clearly wasn’t going to sort out my problem as I still needed to get a return ticket and was unwilling to fork out yet another £11.30 for the privilege. My first “can’t be arsed” Scotrail person.
When I reached Haymarket, the ticket barrier retained my ticket but I made sure I kept hold of my receipt. After my meeting I went to the ticket office to be told by the lady at the desk that there was nothing she could do about my dilemma and that I’d have to buy another single ticket. My second “can’t be arsed” Scotrail person. Fortunately she was overheard by one of her colleagues who suggested it was worth talking to the man at the gate to see if he could do anything. My first “helpful” Scotrail person.
The first man at the gate (third “can’t be arsed” person) said that he wouldn’t be able to help me as I didn’t have the original ticket! I explained that this had been retained by the ticket barrier (naturally) and he said that the original guard on the train should have upgraded me when I still had the ticket in my possession. Without the ticket there was nothing that could be done and I’d have to buy a new single ticket for another £11.30.
Fortunately my knight in shining armour was standing listening to the conversation – Another Scotrail employee who said he was sure that he could process an “upgrade” for me which would mean me just paying the 10p difference between the tickets. I could have kissed him. He dutifully plugged all the details into his little machine and produced the relevant ticket and I handed across my 10p with grateful thanks.
So what does this story illustrate? Well to me it’s perfectly clear that there is always a solution to a problem if only someone is prepared to make that little bit of effort to help. All to often our “can’t be arsed” society takes over however and we are left with little faith in human nature.
On this occasion I would definitely like to thank the lovely man who saved me just over £11 for bringing some sunshine into a cold, grey, rainy day – you are a star. To the three people who “couldn’t be arsed”, perhaps some customer service training wouldn’t go amiss? And finally, to Scotrail … what idiot dreamt up such a ludicrous fare policy?
A sad day for me
Had things turned out differently, today would have been the day that I flew off to New York for the trip of a lifetime. This afternoon I would have been in Times Square soaking up the atmosphere and checking out where the best places were to eat and shop.
Instead, I am here in Glasgow, the weather miserable which pretty much matches my mood. Oh well … onwards and upwards … maybe next year?
Cathedral City
Continuing with my occasional theme of Glasgow landmarks, I’d like to tell you a bit about the Cathedral which sits north of High Street and east of Cathedral Street, beside the Glasgow Royal Infirmary.
Built before the Reformation from the late 12th century onwards and serving as the seat of the Bishop and later the Archbishop of Glasgow, the building is a superb example of Scottish Gothic architecture. It is also one of the few Scottish medieval churches (and the only medieval cathedral on the Scottish mainland) to have survived the Reformation not unroofed. On 22 April 1581, James VI gifted the income from a number of lands to Glasgow town for its upkeep. He traced the ownership of these lands to money left by Archbishop Gavin Dunbar as a legacy for repairing the cathedral. The town council agreed on 27 February 1583 to take responsibility for repairing the kirk while recording they had no obligation to do so. The church survives because of this resolution.
Technically, the building is no longer a cathedral, since it has not been the seat of a bishop since 1690. However, like other pre-Reformation cathedrals in Scotland, it is still a place of active Christian worship, hosting a Church of Scotland congregation.
On a lampost outside the Cathedral you can see an example of Glasgow’s official Coat of Arms. Somewhat surprisingly, the City of Glasgow did not have a coat of arms until the middle of the 19th century. In 1866, the Lord Lyon King at Arms gave approval for one which incorporated a number of symbols and emblems which had been used on official seals up until then – all of which were associated with St Mungo. St Mungo (who was originally named Kentigern) is said to have preached the sermon containing the words “Lord, let Glasgow Flourish by the preaching of the word.” This was subsequently truncated in Victorian times into the more secular “Let Glasgow Flourish” which is still in use today.
Many people, including Glaswegians themselves, are only vaguely aware of the stories and legends associated with the coat of arms. So here is the background to:
There’s the tree that never grew,
There’s the bird that never flew,
There’s the fish that never swam,
There’s the bell that never rang.
The Tree That Never Grew
The tree in the coat of arms is a now sturdy oak tree, but it started out as a branch of a hazel tree. The legend says that St Mungo was in charge of a holy fire in St Serf’s Monastery and fell asleep. Some boys who were envious of his favoured position with St Serf put out the fire. But St Mungo broke off some frozen branches from a hazel tree and, by praying over them, caused them to burst into flames.
The Bird That Never Flew
This commemorates a wild robin which was tamed by St Serf and which was accidentally killed. St Mungo was blamed for the death but he is said to have taken the dead bird, prayed over it and it was restored to life.
The Fish That Never Swam
The coat of arms always shows the fish with a ring held in its mouth. This is because a King of Strathclyde had given his wife a ring as a present. But the Queen gave it to a knight who promptly lost it. Some versions of the story say that the King took the ring while the knight was asleep and threw it in the river. The King then demanded to see the ring – threatening death to the Queen if she could not do so. The knight confessed to St Mungo who sent a monk to catch a fish in the river Clyde. When this was brought back (presumably catching salmon in the Clyde in those days was a lot easier then!) St Mungo cut open the fish and found the ring. When the Bishop of Glasgow was designing his own seal around 1271, he used the illustration of a salmon with a ring in its mouth and this has come down to us in today’s coat of arms.
The Bell That Never Rang
In 1450, John Stewart, the first Lord Provost of Glasgow, left an endowment so that a “St Mungo’s Bell” could be made and tolled throughout the city so that the citizens would pray for his soul. The bell was still ringing out in 1578, as there is an entry in the City Treasurer’s accounts two shillings (10p) “for one tong to St Mungowis Bell.” A new bell was purchased by the magistrates in 1641 and that bell is on display in the People’s Palace museum near Glasgow Green.
In 1631, another bell was made, this time for the Tron Church on which was inscribed the words “Lord, let Glasgow Flourish by the preaching of the word.” Whether Glasgow flourished with spiritual assistance or the hard work of its people (or both), there is no doubt that Glasgow, now the largest city in Scotland, (twice the size of the capital, Edinburgh) has certainly prospered.
Where dreams were dreamed
One of the most interesting looking buildings to be found in my adopted home city of Glasgow is the Clyde Auditorium, known to us locals as “The Armadillo”. Sitting on the site of the now infilled Queen’s Dock on the River Clyde, it is adjacent to the Scottish Exhibition and Conference Centre (SECC).
It was completed in 1997 and earned its affectionate nickname due to the similarity of its shape to that of the animal of the same name. It is often been compared with the Sydney Opera House although this wasn’t the architects’ inspiration for the design, which was in fact an interlocking series of ship hulls in reference to the Clyde’s shipbuilding heritage.
The building has quickly become one of the most recognisable on Clydeside and one of the images most associated with modern Glasgow. Its success has led to planning for a third venue on the complex – the Scottish Hydro Arena, due for completion in 2013, and already with a nickname of its own – “the Oyster”.
Those of you who watch the Simpson will also remember that the facade was a venue that featured in a promotional video which parodied the famous Susan Boyle audition for Britain’s Got Talent in January 2009.
I count myself as very lucky to have been in the audience that day when Susan stepped out onto the stage and blew us away with her amazing voice. I was one of those people who sniggered behind my hand and sank down in my seat as this rather strange looking woman in a shiny gold dress with black tights and a grey, frizzy perm strolled onto the stage and told us she wanted to be talked about in the same breath as Elaine Paige. 
None of us there that night will ever forget how, in just a split second, Susan taught us an extremely valuable lesson … don’t judge a book by its cover and give everyone a chance to show what they are capable of doing.
Another lasting image of that night is the one of Simon Cowell, head cupped in his hands and a broad grin on his face. If I were to insert a thought bubble onto this picture it would simply say “£££££££”.
Whatever your opinion of this type of reality show, the Armadillo has a place in history and will be forever known as the place where Susan Boyle was discovered and where dreams CAN come true.
Where have all the cones gone?
For the first time, ever, I was able to drive along the M80 from Glasgow to Falkirk this morning without a single traffic cone in sight on either carriageway. Now some people reading this will say “so what?” but for those of us who have used this route regularly over the past 10 years or so, you will understand what a momentous occasion this is!
For as long as I can remember there have been speed limits and hold-ups on this road and the delays and frustrations for anyone travelling north to places such as Perth, Dundee, Inverness and Aberdeen are well documented. What an absolute pleasure it is to be able to drive at 70mph at last! For all my friends who live in Cumbernauld I am sure you will have been dancing in the street and celebrating being released from the prison of roadworks that have been endured for so long.
In fact, it is almost as exciting as the recent opening of the M74 extension … almost, but not quite!
The origin of the modern traffic cone is a mystery but further research has been carried out on the subject and for those interested information on its evolution can be found at www.trafficcone.com, the home of the Traffic Cone Preservation Society.


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