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Jesus v Santa
As if to prove that the commercialisation of Christmas has definitely moved a step too far, a recent survey has found that many people struggle with the storyline of the birth of baby Jesus. Over 2,000 children and parents were polled on behalf of the Bible Society about their nativity play knowledge, and the results showed some major holes in the story. Here are just some of the hilarious results:
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A majority of Britons appear to be unaware that Jesus was born out-of-wedlock
- Only 26% knew that Mary and Joseph were betrothed
- 2% thought Mary and Joseph were ‘on their first date’ when they found out she was pregnant
- A further 37 people thought Santa Claus was the first person to visit baby Jesus
- A majority believed he was sleeping in a Moses basket, not a manger
We hear a lot about “the war on Christmas”, but the true seasonal struggle is the war within Christmas, a single holiday shared by two deeply antagonistic religions.
Religion 1 is the religion of Jesus Christ, the figure whose birth the holiday commemorates. This religion emphasises universal grace and forgiveness.
Religion 2 is the religion of Santa Claus, the holiday’s most visible representative. Santa upholds a much sterner creed: “You better watch out / You better not cry / Better not pout / I’m telling you why / Santa Claus is coming to town / He’s making a list / And checking it twice / Gonna find out who’s naughty and nice …”
So even though Christmas began as a celebration dedicated to Jesus, this holiday has become increasingly commercial, most people being more interested in gifts and parties than the religious side of this holiday. Although they are tied to the same day, December 25th, Santa Claus and Jesus’ birth don’t have much in common, because each one promotes other values.
It’s funny how many people teach their kids all about Jesus and God (something that can’t be proven), while there are others that wait to introduce ideas of faith and religion to their kids when they’re old enough to decide for themselves (very enlightened!) . And then there are those who have had no problem telling their kids about a fat guy sliding down the chimney with a sack full of gifts and eating the cookies and milk, his elves, flying reindeer, and somehow doing this at midnight in every home all around the world (WTF?).
It truly is a time of year when there is something for everyone it seems! So, whatever you believe, a very Merry Christmas to one and all!!!
Bigger news
OK, I was wrong … the biggest news of the day is the announcement that Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, is pregnant with her and Prince William’s first child. But can you spot the similarity between these two photos:
The answer? Well they’re both expecting baby W[h]ales of course!!! BOOM!!!!!
The Palace have taken the unusual step of publicising the Royal pregnancy prior to the 12 weeks stage because Kate has been admitted to hospital suffering from hyperemesis gravidarum, a severe form of morning sickness requiring supplementary hydration and nutrients.
This baby’s future is of course already mapped out. He/she will be third in line to the throne, after Prince Charles and Prince William and will one day be head of the armed forces, supreme governor of the Church of England and subsequently head of state of 16 countries.
So congratulations to them – just remember Kate, one more and your job is done!
Monstrosity or Work of Art? You decide!
If you’re looking for a sure-fire way to divide opinion, you could do no better than to “borrow” a Damien Hirst sculpture! This is precisely what the seaside town of Ilfracombe, Devon has done by accepting his controversial statue, Verity, a pregnant woman wielding a sword, on loan for the next 20 years.
Verity, described by Hirst as a ‘modern allegory of truth and justice’, carries the scales of justice and is standing on a plinth of law books. The naked pregnant figure holds a sword and has part of her anatomy exposed – a baby clearly visible in the womb. She stands at 20.25m from plinth to sword tip, is slightly taller than the Angel of the North and weighs more than 25 tonnes.
Why Ilfracombe? Well apparently Hirst lives in the town and also owns a restaurant there so presumably he wants it close by. In addition he probably thought that the town already had a controversial structure in the Landmark Theatre [which is known locally as “Madonna’s Bra”, a reference to its shape], so why not have another one to really make it a place to talk about?
Personally I quite like the smooth side of the statue but find the exposed side somewhat disturbing, but I guess that was the artist’s intention?
There are many locals who regret the decision of Ilfracombe town planners over the years to pull down Victorian buildings and to replace them with modern structures that don’t fit with the character of the town. The Landmark, which – from a distance – looks much like the cooling towers of a power station, and now this latest addition, represent this unfortunate inclination.
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