My poor Dad would be so upset – he loved cricket and was the only person I’ve ever met who found this excruciatingly tedious sport exciting! 

And why would he be so upset?  Well today England crumbled to a 72-run defeat in the second Test against Pakistan in Abu Dhabi to lose the three-match series.   Only Andrew Strauss and Matt Prior reached double figures as England wilted under the pressure applied by the Pakistan spin bowlers.

It was a diabolical display by England, in stark contrast to the form that carried them to the top of the International Cricket Council Test rankings, and one that wasted the good bowling work that had given them an opportunity to level the series.

Geoffrey Boycott, Ex-England batsman, said “I’ve seen some bad performances over the years but that’s as bad as I’ve seen. I couldn’t find any excuses and I wouldn’t want to. They had to change the batting order, but to not be able to make 150? They were missing straight balls. And [Eoin] Morgan? If he’s a Test player, I’m going to eat that famous hat. You’d have to see it to believe how bad it was.”

This is England’s first loss since being crowned the world’s number one side and Pakistan are ranked fifth.  Even if England lose the third test, they will only lose top spot if South Africa win 3-0 in New Zealand in March.

Would it be cheeky of me to suggest some batting practice before the next match?