Category Archives: General
What happens in Vegas can no longer be expected to stay there
Oh dear, what were you thinking Harry???
As nude pictures of the 3rd in line to the throne have spread across the Internet this week, British websites, newspapers and television stations have been banned from showing them which, in this age of technology is pretty silly as a simple Google search provided the evidence. There is an element perhaps of running scared following the recent Leveson Inquiry, together with the fact that Prince Charles has instructed lawyers to threaten legal action for infringing Prince Harry’s ‘privacy’. Regardless of Codes of Conduct and legislation however, the internet will always have space for as many nude photos of Prince Harry as partygoers with mobile phones can muster.
After much thought I have decided not to include the naked pictures in this post but if you want to check them out for yourself, last night a Google search for ‘Prince Harry Naked’ produced 68,300,000 results and a search for ‘Prince Harry Naked Pictures’ generated 25,800,000 results.
Whatever your opinion on this matter we should remember that Harry is no longer a teenager, he will be 28 next month – his position as an Officer in the British Army demands his observation of their own code of ethics as well as his obvious status within the Royal Family. So what possessed him to show off his very own “Crown Jewels” in a game of “strip billiards”? Prince Charles probably hasn’t seen his son naked since he was a baby. Now, anyone who has looked at a Hollywood-based website has.
And another question? Where was his security and why did they not stop him? Earlier in the day, bare-chested and wearing sunglasses, he blended in perfectly with the rest of the pool party revellers. But the man sharing Prince Harry’s Jacuzzi in Las Vegas is in fact his taxpayer-funded police protection officer. The unnamed Scotland Yard officer, on the left in the picture above, was one of at least three personal protection officers tasked with guarding the 27-year-old prince round the clock on his US holiday. His police detail is estimated to cost the taxpayer £2million a year, and the photos are bound to raise questions at the highest level. Dai Davies, the former head of Scotland Yard’s Royalty Protection Squad, said it was a ‘very tricky situation’ for the officers. But he added: ‘I’m not exactly sure how [protecting Harry] can be done when you are wearing your swimming trunks in a Jacuzzi. Where is his gun for a start? And if he is not deemed to need one then is there any justification for him being there?’
Harry and his entourage left Vegas on Tuesday, arriving in Los Angeles just an hour after his naked photos hit the internet. In blue shirt, cream Panama hat and sunglasses, the prince looked apprehensive as he waited in a car park outside a restaurant in trendy Venice Beach. While his friends ate inside, he spent much of his time on his mobile phone suggesting that the news had been broken to him that he was now an internet sensation.
Whatever the fallout is from his latest antics, I am pretty sure that when he gets home he’ll find out that Granny is not amused!!!
BDSM for nice people
And sure enough, following on from yesterday’s post Fifty Shades of Rubbish, today’s story is about the mainstream publishing company, HarperCollins, who have released a guide to bondage bedroom play – or BDSM, as it is known to the initiated.
While it is a lifestyle choice enjoyed, sometimes to extremes, by people across the globe, it is fair to say that the current popularity of BDSM refers to a sort of ‘BDSM lite’ – a tamer, more approachable version of the sexual proclivity.
And that is just what is portrayed in HarperCollins’ new guide. The book, Fifty Ways To Play – which carries the subtitle “BDSM for nice people”.
The book claims to offer 50 ‘edgy and erotic’ adventures which the publisher says are ‘perfect for the millions of readers who have been inspired by the phenomenal Fifty Shades trilogy.’ ‘Fifty Shades has broken down the taboos about BDSM and more women than ever are wanting to spice up their sex lives,’ HarperCollins said. ‘But there is very little out there that shows you how to turn every night into an erotic fantasy. ‘From turning your bedroom into a ‘Red Room Of Desire [in the Fifty Shades Trilogy it is known as the Red Room Of Pain] to exploring the fine art of Japanese rope bondage, these 50 edgy and erotic adventures make incredible sex incredibly easy,’ they say.
Conveniently for the budding BDSM-er, the book is being packaged up and sold as part of erotic gift sets by www.boxofgrey.com, a website set up for newcomers to the BDSM world. They have created gift boxes with a selection of props to complement the book, with two different sets on offer to assist the BDSM virgins: the Play Box, which includes a blindfold, paddle, kegel balls and a rope kit, and the Summer Holiday box, which contains a holiday-friendly selection of products that the site says are discreet enough that they can be packed in hand luggage without arousing suspicions during security checks.
All this strangely reminds me of the Paul Simon Song, “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” released in December 1975:
The problem is all inside your head
She said to me
The answer is easy if you
Take it logically
I’d like to help you in your struggle
To be free
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover.
Is the struggle he refers to the chains, ropes and/or handcuffs used in BDSM … you decide!
Best Joke at the Edinburgh Fringe 2012
For the third year running I’ve managed to miss any of the acts playing the Edinburgh Fringe Festival but, if the jokes below are anything to go by, I must make more of an effort next year!
This year, Stewart Francis’s one-liner about David and Victoria Beckham naming their children has won the award for the funniest joke of the Festival. The Canadian comedian won the award, given out by TV channel Dave, for the joke:
“You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.”
Francis and British comedian Tim Vine’s jokes both feature twice in the top ten best list published by Dave. Other comedians whose jokes made the list include Will Marsh and Rob Beckett.
Tim Vine’s jokes (he won the award for best joke two years ago) were voted into second and sixth place by a public vote of three thousand comedy fans, after Edinburgh jokes were whittled down to a shortlist of 30 by a panel of judges. Here are the top ten jokes chosen this year: 
1. Stewart Francis – “You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.”
2. Tim Vine – “Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly. ”
3. Will Marsh – “I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister.”
4. Rob Beckett – “You know you’re working class when your TV is bigger than your book case.”
5. Chris Turner – “I’m good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet … I don’t know why.”
6. Tim Vine – “I took part in the sun tanning Olympics – I just got Bronze.”
7. George Ryegold – “Pornography is often frowned upon, but that’s only because I’m concentrating.”
8. Stewart Francis – “I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!”
9. Lou Sanders – “I waited an hour for my starter so I complained: ‘It’s not rocket salad.”
10. Nish Kumar – “My mum’s so pessimistic, that if there was an Olympics for pessimism … she wouldn’t fancy her chances.”
Fifty Shades of Rubbish!
I am really quite cross with myself! Despite knowing that all the hype was probably just that, hype, I gave in and bought the Fifty Shades trilogy to take on my recent holiday. Everyone was reading it and the buzz around the story was intense. Why oh why didn’t I listen to the voice of reason in my head telling me to leave it well alone?
Dubbed “Mummy Porn” by the media, these books by British author E.L. James trace the deepening relationship between a college graduate, Anastasia Steele (“Ana”), and a young business magnate, Christian Grey. They are notable for their explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of sexual practices involving bondage/discipline, dominance / submission, and sadism / masochism (BDSM).
Fifty Shades of Grey has topped best-seller lists around the world, including the United Kingdom and the United States and the series has sold 40 million copies worldwide, with book rights having been sold in 37 countries, and set the record as the fastest-selling paperback of all time, surpassing the Harry Potter series.
Predictably there has been much interest in turning these books into a feature film and in March 2o12 Universal Pictures and Focus Features secured the rights to the trilogy and there has been a lot of speculation as to who should play the leading roles. There are lots of pretty male actors around who could happily play the part of Christian Grey but I nearly fell off my chair when I heard that Angelina Jolie (age 37) had indicated that she would like to play the part of Anastasia – I am struggling to think of a less likely candidate to play a 19 year old virgin!!!
But back to the books themselves. If like me you are an avid reader and someone who enjoys a good story, these books are not for you! The first book sets the scene and the subsequent two make a half-hearted attempt to weave a very weak storyline throughout. There is some development of the characters but you soon find yourself skipping over the salacious parts which become incredibly boring after a while.
In particular, the section in the first book which details the contract laying out the terms of the sexual arrangement between them is, to say the least, ludicrous, and “safe” words are clearly reiterated so Ana can maintain certain boundaries when it comes to pain and humiliation. Surely one would hope that a simple “Stop” would be a better place to start! 
Furthermore, in the final book she allows him to continue using some of his sado-masochist tendencies on her whilst pregnant with their first child – as if!
The phenomenon of Fifty Shades is hard to ignore however and every day there is a new story making the whole thing a Marketeers dream. One idea that I particularly like comes from Richard’s Cakes (‘Quality Cakes for All Occasions’) from Manchester who have sculpted, baked and created a Fifty Shades of Grey Cake based around the Red Room of Pain. I just love the handcuffs on the bed.
Post-holiday blues
We spend weeks, sometimes months, looking forward to our annual holiday and all too soon it is a distant memory. The suntan starts to peel and/or fade and the harsh realities of everyday life come crashing back almost before the wheels of your returning aircraft have hit the home tarmac!
So what’s the answer? In years gone by I have come straight home and booked the next holiday, thus ensuring that I do have something else to look forward to, away from the uncertain climate that we live in here in the UK. Perhaps this year I will try something different …
How about actually doing something positive and trying to eat more healthily and lose weight? Sounds simple doesn’t it, but the reality is always so much harder!
As the southern half of the UK is bathed in sunshine and enjoying record temperatures, up here in Scotland it is naturally grey and cloudy with little hope of the sun breaking through the storm clouds that are gathering. So when I saw this poster, it made me laugh out loud – just about sums up my mood perfectly!!!
and still on the subject of art …
Writing the last post I was reminded of the sculpture that has long been a part of the scenery in Kingston-upon-Thames town centre – the line of 12 disused red telephone boxes that have been tipped up to lean against one another in an arrangement resembling dominoes. This sculpture was commissioned in 1988 as part of the landscaping for the (then) new Relief Road, and is called “Out of Order”.
Unveiled on the 19th December 1989, it stands in Old London Road near the junction with Clarence Road.
What I didn’t know then was that the sculptor, David Mach (56), is the Scot from Methil in Fife who also designed the “Big Heids” that are a familiar sight for us regular M8 drivers between Glasgow and Edinburgh.
On further investigation it seems that this tiny little town in the Kingdom of Fife produces some of the best artistic talent that Scotland is so proud of, from a population of only 11,000.
Another artist to grow up in this industrial seaside town is Jack Vettriano (60) who only took up painting as a hobby in his twenties when his girl friend bought him a set of water colours! Vettriano’s original paintings now regularly fetch huge six figure prices but he is thought to make more money from the sale of reproductions. Each year a new set of limited edition prints are published, and his most popular work, “The Singing Butler”, sells more posters and postcards than any other painting in the UK.
It’s amazing what you find out quite by chance when looking for something else!
Athletic Art
This is my favourite image so far of the imminent London2012 Olympics!
A Czech artist has re-modelled a traditional London double-decker bus into a mechanical sculpture of an athlete doing push-ups to celebrate the Olympic Games opening in the British capital on Friday.
David 
Cerny bought the 1957 bus from an owner in the Netherlands, attached two huge arms, an electrical engine and a lot of wiring and suspension tools to make it into a piece of art named “London Boosted”.
Cerny, whose past works have enraged European politicians and sought to poke fun at rival artists, has installed the bus outside the Czech Olympic House in London’s Islington neighbourhood.
“There is one common exercise for every sportsman in the world, and that is push-ups,” Cerny said. “It is training for sport activities but at the same time it is also punishment in armies and prisons. So the push-ups are a very universal physical activity…It is in a way very ironic.”
For regular travellers on this particular transport however, the irony might be the fact that there’s only one and not 3 identical buses there at the same time!
Steer clear of Beer!
Perhaps as a result of the lack of investment in recent years, a road in Devon has been closed indefinitely after part of it collapsed. Cracks – thought to be caused by persistent rain – began to appear on Old Beer Road in Seaton on Wednesday and within 48 hours part of the road had collapsed and Devon County Council is now concerned more of the road could disappear. Members of the public have been urged to stay away from the “potentially dangerous” road.
The council said the road had dropped by about 1m (about 3ft) in the past 24 hours and barriers had been put up to prevent any access.
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- Old Beer Road Wednesday 11th July 2012
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- Same road, 2 days later 13th July 2012
But perhaps more sinister forces are at work? Surely it is no coincidence that the road collapsed on Friday 13th? The curse of paraskevidekatriaphobia strikes again!
Let the train take the strain?
In the last week I have spent upwards of 40 hours on various trains, travelling around the country as part of my latest consultancy assignment.
It started last Thursday when, with about half an hour’s notice, I had to make my way from my home in Glasgow to a hotel at East Midlands Airport for a briefing at 8.30am the following day. After discovering there are now no flights at all from Glasgow Airport to East Midlands Airport (despite the fact that I have done this journey before!), I had no option but to go by train. This was my journey:
18:00 Get dropped off at Mount Florida Station for train to Glasgow Central and pick up tickets
18:40 Take train from Glasgow Central to Warrington Bank Quay – running 12 minutes late for no apparent reason
21:20 Arrive at Warrington Bank Quay and take a taxi (in the rain) to Warrington Central
22:03 Take train from Warrington Central to Nottingham, although this train was in fact running 20 minutes late – no explanation given
01:00 Arrive at Nottingham and take taxi to hotel at East Midlands Airport
01:30 Check into my room at the hotel
Fortunately my journey home the following night was made easier when one of my colleagues very kindly took me to Warrington Bank Quay so all I had to do (after a 3 hour drive) was to take one train back to Glasgow before getting home at some time around 10.30pm – exhausted and none too pleased to have to take the very same journey again two days later as I needed to be back in Nottingham for 09:00 on Monday morning!
I took a different route on Sunday, leaving home at 4:00pm and arriving at the hotel at 11.30pm. The same colleague took me to Warrington Bank Quay the following afternoon and I arrived back home in Glasgow for a brief sleep at around 10:30pm before setting off again the next day (Tuesday), this time to Elgin!
Setting my alarm for 5:15am, I then caught the 7:06am to Inverness and then another train to Elgin, arriving at 11:41. After a day of meetings I then returned home, via Aberdeen on this leg of the journey, and was back in my flat at about 10:00pm – extremely tired and emotional!!!
I know you’re mostly sitting down while on the train but it is an extremely stressful and tiring experience as people who commute regularly using this mode of transport will probably concur. It would be less stressful if the train companies could make more of an effort to run the services on time so that you’re not scared of missing the various connections that might mean you being stranded miles from your final destination in the dead of night. If they could also make sure there are enough carriages for the amount of people using the service that would also be helpful, thus avoiding the dreadful congestion on board and making the journey so much more comfortable for everyone!
Moan over – perhaps next time I should just take the car?????
Incredible photo!
I subscribe to a website called www.photobotos.com which is a site where you can see one photo every day and read the story behind it.
The photos are always good but today this picture of a Great Ape really caught my imagination.
The photographer, Steve Mackay, calls this photo “Life Sentence” and says:
“This is Djanghou, a captive, adult male, Western Lowland Gorilla. The title is purely for effect, the Zoo this shot was taken at (Howletts) is doing fantastic work regarding conservation and it’s animal care……but I’m sure many of us feel that captive animals (especially complex and intelligent creatures like the Great Apes) are a shadow of what their wild selves should really be!, so this is the idea behind the image (and not a slight on the efforts of the Zoo that this Gorilla lives at).”
For more of Steve’s images take a look at www.stevemackayphotography.com/
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