This year, Stewart Francis’s one-liner about David and Victoria Beckham naming their children has won the award for the funniest joke of the Festival. The Canadian comedian won the award, given out by TV channel Dave, for the joke:
“You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.”
Francis and British comedian Tim Vine’s jokes both feature twice in the top ten best list published by Dave. Other comedians whose jokes made the list include Will Marsh and Rob Beckett.
Tim Vine’s jokes (he won the award for best joke two years ago) were voted into second and sixth place by a public vote of three thousand comedy fans, after Edinburgh jokes were whittled down to a shortlist of 30 by a panel of judges. Here are the top ten jokes chosen this year:
1. Stewart Francis – “You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.”
2. Tim Vine – “Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly. ”
3. Will Marsh – “I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister.”
4. Rob Beckett – “You know you’re working class when your TV is bigger than your book case.”
5. Chris Turner – “I’m good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet … I don’t know why.”
6. Tim Vine – “I took part in the sun tanning Olympics – I just got Bronze.”
7. George Ryegold – “Pornography is often frowned upon, but that’s only because I’m concentrating.”
8. Stewart Francis – “I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!”
9. Lou Sanders – “I waited an hour for my starter so I complained: ‘It’s not rocket salad.”
10. Nish Kumar – “My mum’s so pessimistic, that if there was an Olympics for pessimism … she wouldn’t fancy her chances.”
A one-liner by comedian Tim Vine has been named the funniest joke of the year at the Loaded Laftas comedy awards. Vine’s joke, “Conjunctivitis.com – that’s a site for sore eyes”, beat competition from Jimmy Carr, Sarah Millican and Paul Daniels.
Tim the brother of Radio 2 presenter Jeremy, can now stake a claim to being the king of the one-liners. In 2010, he won the award for the funniest joke at the Edinburgh Fringe with the line: “I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.” And last year, his joke, “Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels”, was named second funniest at the Fringe.
Jimmy Carr: “I know a couple who get on like a house on fire. They both feel trapped and are slowly suffocating to death.”
Sarah Millican: “My mother told me, you don’t have to put anything in your mouth you don’t want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards.”
Matt Kirshen: “I was playing chess with my friend and he said, ‘Let’s make this interesting’. So we stopped playing chess.”
Paul Daniels: “I said to a fella ‘Is there a B&Q in Henley?’ He said ‘No, there’s an H, an E, an N an L and a Y’.”
Laugh? I nearly fell of my chair while splitting my sides … not!!!
My personal favourite joke of the moment however, is the one that asks “How much of his finger did Paul Daniels recently cut off in an accident? Answers on a postcard please!!!