A one-liner by comedian Tim Vine has been named the funniest joke of the year at the Loaded Laftas comedy awards. Vine’s joke, “Conjunctivitis.com – that’s a site for sore eyes”, beat competition from Jimmy Carr, Sarah Millican and Paul Daniels.

Tim the brother of Radio 2 presenter Jeremy, can now stake a claim to being the king of the one-liners. In 2010, he won the award for the funniest joke at the Edinburgh Fringe with the line: “I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.”  And last year, his joke, “Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels”,  was named second funniest at the Fringe.

Whether Tim had much competition at this year’s Laftas is open to debate.  I think his jokes are “laugh out loud” hysterical but when you see the ones he beat, he is quite clearly a comic genious! 

Jimmy Carr: “I know a couple who get on like a house on fire.  They both feel trapped and are slowly suffocating to death.”

Sarah Millican: “My mother told me, you don’t have to put anything in your mouth you don’t want to.  Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards.”

Matt Kirshen: “I was playing chess with my friend and he said, ‘Let’s make this interesting’.  So we stopped playing chess.”

Paul Daniels: “I said to a fella ‘Is there a B&Q in Henley?’   He said ‘No, there’s an H, an E, an N an L and a Y’.” 

Laugh?  I nearly fell of my chair while splitting my sides … not!!!

My personal favourite joke of the moment however, is the one that asks “How much of his finger did Paul Daniels recently cut off in an accident?   Answers on a postcard please!!!