A one-liner by comedian Tim Vine has been named the funniest joke of the year at the Loaded Laftas comedy awards. Vine’s joke, “Conjunctivitis.com – that’s a site for sore eyes”, beat competition from Jimmy Carr, Sarah Millican and Paul Daniels.
Tim the brother of Radio 2 presenter Jeremy, can now stake a claim to being the king of the one-liners. In 2010, he won the award for the funniest joke at the Edinburgh Fringe with the line: “I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.” And last year, his joke, “Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels”, was named second funniest at the Fringe.
Jimmy Carr: “I know a couple who get on like a house on fire. They both feel trapped and are slowly suffocating to death.”
Sarah Millican: “My mother told me, you don’t have to put anything in your mouth you don’t want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards.”
Matt Kirshen: “I was playing chess with my friend and he said, ‘Let’s make this interesting’. So we stopped playing chess.”
Paul Daniels: “I said to a fella ‘Is there a B&Q in Henley?’ He said ‘No, there’s an H, an E, an N an L and a Y’.”
Laugh? I nearly fell of my chair while splitting my sides … not!!!
My personal favourite joke of the moment however, is the one that asks “How much of his finger did Paul Daniels recently cut off in an accident? Answers on a postcard please!!!