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Best Joke at the Edinburgh Fringe 2012
For the third year running I’ve managed to miss any of the acts playing the Edinburgh Fringe Festival but, if the jokes below are anything to go by, I must make more of an effort next year!
This year, Stewart Francis’s one-liner about David and Victoria Beckham naming their children has won the award for the funniest joke of the Festival. The Canadian comedian won the award, given out by TV channel Dave, for the joke:
“You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.”
Francis and British comedian Tim Vine’s jokes both feature twice in the top ten best list published by Dave. Other comedians whose jokes made the list include Will Marsh and Rob Beckett.
Tim Vine’s jokes (he won the award for best joke two years ago) were voted into second and sixth place by a public vote of three thousand comedy fans, after Edinburgh jokes were whittled down to a shortlist of 30 by a panel of judges. Here are the top ten jokes chosen this year: 
1. Stewart Francis – “You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.”
2. Tim Vine – “Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly. ”
3. Will Marsh – “I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister.”
4. Rob Beckett – “You know you’re working class when your TV is bigger than your book case.”
5. Chris Turner – “I’m good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet … I don’t know why.”
6. Tim Vine – “I took part in the sun tanning Olympics – I just got Bronze.”
7. George Ryegold – “Pornography is often frowned upon, but that’s only because I’m concentrating.”
8. Stewart Francis – “I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!”
9. Lou Sanders – “I waited an hour for my starter so I complained: ‘It’s not rocket salad.”
10. Nish Kumar – “My mum’s so pessimistic, that if there was an Olympics for pessimism … she wouldn’t fancy her chances.”
Sir Gary of the Barlow
It’s been a good few weeks for Gary Barlow. After the success(?) of the concert he masterminded at Buck House, comes a week when he continues to dominate the tabloid headlines!
At the beginning of the week, his Jubilee single “Sing” reached No. 1 in the charts and he was awarded Premier Inn’s “Celebrity Dad of the Year 2012”
It is the first time Gary has won the accolade and he was chosen in a public vote. The X Factor Judge said winning the award felt “amazing”.
And then, today, in the Queen’s Birthday Honours List it was announced that he has been awarded the OBE in recognition of his services to the entertainment industry and to charity.
I can’t help but think this last one must have come as something of a disappointment. There have been many calls for him to be knighted and Sir Gary does have something of a ring about it. But, more importantly, when us commoners regard the OBE as something being awarded for “Other Buggers Efforts” it’s just a wee bit of a smack in the face perhaps? – discuss!
The offside rule explained
Trying to explain the offside rule to football beginners can be difficult and frustrating. Whether it’s to a loved one or to a young child, sometimes it seems to be an impossible job. But the tedious task is no more thanks to the Royal Mint, who have produced a new 50p coin to commemorate the London 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Games.
The design – by production journalist Neil Wolfson – is available as part of the collection of 29 new coins this year which features each sport of the games. ‘Neil Wolfson designed his coin in the hope that it would encapsulate football in a simple image,’ the Royal Mint coinmakers website explains.
“As the offside rule is a perennial talking point, the image is designed to provoke discussion, which was what he was aiming for.”
Mr Wolfson added that he hoped people like the coin, saying: ‘I hope it starts conversations and people are able to [use it] to describe what the offside rule is.’
And there was me thinking that it was offside when the pepper pot is in front of the brown sauce bottle!
All is not what it seems
London 2012 organisers have been forced to apologise for airbrushing the historic World War II ship HMS Belfast from an official poster depicting the capital’s skyline. Games organisers said it was “a simple mistake in the advertising production process” for London 2012 Festival. The ship, which served in both World War II and the Korean War, has been moored near Tower Bridge since 1971.
A London 2012 spokesman said: “HMS Belfast was unfortunately excluded from one of the seven adverts for the London 2012 Festival. “We are very sorry about this – it was a simple mistake in the advertising production process, and we apologise if this mistake has caused offence. The mistake has been rectified and posters without HMS Belfast in are being removed.”
One of my own personal favourite Photoshop blunders is this one – how on earth did this manage to get past quality control???
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