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There’s only one Theo Walcott!

When substitute Theo Walcott came on to the pitch against Sweden on the hour mark last night, England were trailing 2-1 and staring defeat in the face – again!

England, who had been leading through Andy Carroll’s bullet header going into the break, conceded twice during a wretched 10-minute period after half-time to leave them deep in trouble.  But new manager Roy Hodgson’s decision to replace James Milner with Arsenal attacker Walcott had an almost instant reward.

Within four minutes Walcott collected a cleared corner on the edge of the box and equalised with a 20-yard shot that deceived Swedish goalkeeper Andreas Isaksson and was a sight to behold – surely a contender for goal of the tournament?

14 minutes later, the England winger burst into the penalty box, went past two Swedish defenders and crossed for Danny Welbeck to flick in the winner – job done!

It was a game-changing contribution from the 23-year-old, who was making his first appearance in a major tournament and scored his first England goal for nearly four years.

Oh yes, and did I mention the fact that he plays for Arsenal?

Here’s what was said by the players and pundits:

“I wouldn’t say I was the game changer. It’s always nice to come off the bench and show what you can do. I’ve been disappointed that I haven’t played.”Theo Walcott

“I’m happy with the finish and to get three points but it was disappointing to let in two goals. We came back, we stuck together and the team spirit showed.”Danny Welbeck

“Great game, wonderful result and that customary gut-wrenching feeling of watching England. Nothing quite like it.”BBC Match of the Day presenter and former England striker Gary Lineker on Twitter

“I think Ashley Young is gonna have to make way for Wayne Rooney.”Former England striker Ian Wright on Twitter

Conspiracy Theory #2795

So England were only able to manage a 1-1 draw against France in their first game of Euro2012 last night.  As always, there has been plenty said in the press about the lack of a win against a French side that, despite being the favourites, had a pretty poor back line that should perhaps have been exploited?

I am of the opinion, however, that more sinister forces are at work!  Last night, for the first time in 16 years, the England Supporters Band were unable to play after their instruments were confiscated at the stadium in Ukraine!

However, while the irritation of hearing The Great Escape theme tune repeatedly grated with many listeners, it was last night found to drown out the various mindless chants that Roy Hodgson’s barmy army indulge in and therefore is clearly the lesser of two evils.

It is not known whether the band will be allowed to play in England’s next game on Friday against Sweden in Kiev.  If they can’t play however, and if the rumours are to believed and Hodgson is planning to start Jordan Henderson, England supporters will be rendered speechless for the entire ninety minutes so that TV audiences can watch the game in muted disbelief.

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