Category Archives: General
Best joke of the week!
David Cameron is visiting a Glasgow hospital. He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness. He greets one and the patient replies:
“Fair fa your honest sonsie face, Great chieftain o’ the puddin race, Aboon them a ye take yer place, Painch, tripe or thairm, As langs my airm.”
Cameron is confused, so he just grins and moves on to the next patient. The next patient responds:
“Some hae meat an canna eat, And some wad eat that want it, But we hae meat an we can eat, So let the Lord be thankit.”
Even more confused he just grins and moves onto the next patient, who immediately begins to chant:
“Wee sleekit, cowerin, timorous beasty, O the panic in thy breasty, Thou needna start awa sae hastie, Wi bickering brattle.”
Now seriously troubled, Cameron turns to the accompanying doctor and asks, “Is this a psychiatric ward?”
“No,” replies the doctor, “this is the serious Burns unit.” BOOM!!!
Just in time for Remembrance Day
As Britain prepares to remember its fallen heroes this weekend, this amazing picture was taken at Blackstone Farm nature reserve in Bewdley, Worcestershire, during a one-week window when the poppies appear in full bloom. It is a little known fact that poppy seeds can lie dormant in soil for more than 80 years before germinating – it’s worth the wait – wear your poppy with pride!
Poor Rudolph
Is it me, or does the Christmas fanfare start earlier and earlier each year?
It is still only early November, but casually strolling along Argyll Street in Glasgow yesterday I came across this rather lonely (enormous!) reindeer, stationed outside Debenhams Department Store and the St Enoch Centre. Is he waiting for the stores to provide the presents, and will Santa be along soon to take him on his journey around the world to deliver them? Maybe I’ll pop along on 24th December to check – he’s looking a little sad there at the moment!
Guest Blogger
Today’s guest blogger is Sian Lewis who tells of her frustrations when trying to renew her house insurance – I’m sure many of you will identify with these! Please read her thoughts here at: https://tessaheywood.com/guest-bloggers/
Have some respect for your arteries!
First we had the deep fried Mars Bar, reportedly invented in 1995 in the Haven Chip Bar (now the Carron), in Stonehaven near Aberdeen. Originally a novelty item it has now become synonymous with Scotland’s notoriously unhealthy diet. After an item on the Channel4 programme, the Big Breakfast, chip shops around the country started putting it on their menus. One phone call to a local paper and in the space of just a few days a bit of fun between a chip shop owner and some local children in a Scottish fishing town, the dish was transformed into a global cultural and gastronomic phenomenon. The product is “not authorised or endorsed” by Mars Inc.
But like all phenomenons, there is always someone who wants to take the theme still further and today we read that an ex-pat Brit, Chris Sell from Rugby, Warwickshire, who has a New York chip shop, has come up with this “tasty” treat to satisfy hungry Brits living in the Big Apple who love fish and chips and a traditional fry-up – a 1,200 calorie battered sandwich with a full English breakfast filling!
Now I don’t know about you, but the thought of anything deep fried makes me cringe! On the rare occasions I do find myself having a fish and chip supper I always strip the fish of all the batter before eating but I do know people who love this type of fatty food – each to their own.
However, why ruin a perfectly good English breakfast by wrapping it in batter? This type of heart attack on a plate needs to be consigned to the nearest dustbin – unless you’ve got a hangover of course when I’m sure it will hit the spot nicely! And the next big decision you will need to make? Will it be red or brown sauce with that?!?
Farewell old friend
BBC Ceefax, the world’s first teletext service, has taken its final bow as the UK’s digital switchover is completed.
Ceefax was launched on 23 September 1974 to give BBC viewers the chance to check the latest news headlines, sports scores, weather forecast or TV listings – in a pre-internet era where the only alternative was to wait for the next TV or radio bulletin to be aired. Its premise was to give viewers free access to the same information that was coming into the BBC newsroom, as soon as the BBC’s journalists had received it.
Initially developed when BBC engineers, exploring ways to provide subtitles to enable viewers with hearing problems to enjoy BBC TV programmes, found it was possible to transmit full pages of text information in the “spare lines” transmitted on the analogue TV signal.
It was called Ceefax, simply because viewers would be able to quickly “see the facts” of any story of the day.
Its audience peaked in the 1990s when it had 20 million viewers who checked the service at least once a week. Since the launch of the National Lottery in 1994, dozens of jackpot winners have revealed that they first learned their life had been changed when they checked their numbers on Ceefax.
Anyone who grew up in the 70s, 80s, and 90s will be familiar with Ceefax but because of the wonders of technology, these teletext-type services are no longer our go-to resource for the latest news and weather. ITV and Channel 4’s Teletext was shut off in 2009 and now those with a soft spot for the BBC’s Ceefax have been cut off, too.
Today we’ve seen Twitter users are sharing #Ceefax memories and wishing the old girl farewell. The image below is currently doing the rounds. I’m not sure who’s behind it but it certainly gave me a smile.
The launch of the UK’s TV digital signal, and the announcement that the analogue TV signal would disappear in a staged switch-off over five years meant a slow withdrawal of Ceefax, ending with the final broadcast tonight in Northern Ireland when Olympic Gold Medallist, Mary Peters, had the dubious honour of ending the service.
Another happy memory consigned to the virtual rubbish bin after 38 years of loyal service – what will we see disappear next?
Still going strong
I come from a family that likes to celebrate landmarks – whether it be birthdays, anniversaries, or important dates, we never like to let an occasion go unnoticed!
So for this reason, and this reason only, I am delighted to let you know that the previous post, A mother’s love, was my 200th Blog Post! I’ve been regularly updating this site since its inception in May 2011 and I have now had 10,384 hits in this 17 month period – quite an achievement!
I intend to continue writing for the forseeable future and hope that the content stays interesting to you, my valued readers.
Now, what shall I write about next?
A mother’s love
I thought that today I would share with you this heart-warming video of Members of the Amboseli Trust, an elephant welfare and conservation group, rescuing a baby elephant trapped in a water well in Kenya. Before they could get anywhere near it they had to deal with the elephant’s anxious mother, who was pacing around nearby. They moved her away so they could help the baby.
Be sure to watch till the very end – it will melt even the hardest of hearts!
Monstrosity or Work of Art? You decide!
If you’re looking for a sure-fire way to divide opinion, you could do no better than to “borrow” a Damien Hirst sculpture! This is precisely what the seaside town of Ilfracombe, Devon has done by accepting his controversial statue, Verity, a pregnant woman wielding a sword, on loan for the next 20 years.
Verity, described by Hirst as a ‘modern allegory of truth and justice’, carries the scales of justice and is standing on a plinth of law books. The naked pregnant figure holds a sword and has part of her anatomy exposed – a baby clearly visible in the womb. She stands at 20.25m from plinth to sword tip, is slightly taller than the Angel of the North and weighs more than 25 tonnes.
Why Ilfracombe? Well apparently Hirst lives in the town and also owns a restaurant there so presumably he wants it close by. In addition he probably thought that the town already had a controversial structure in the Landmark Theatre [which is known locally as “Madonna’s Bra”, a reference to its shape], so why not have another one to really make it a place to talk about?
Personally I quite like the smooth side of the statue but find the exposed side somewhat disturbing, but I guess that was the artist’s intention?
There are many locals who regret the decision of Ilfracombe town planners over the years to pull down Victorian buildings and to replace them with modern structures that don’t fit with the character of the town. The Landmark, which – from a distance – looks much like the cooling towers of a power station, and now this latest addition, represent this unfortunate inclination.
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