Daily Archives: August 22, 2012

BDSM for nice people

And sure enough, following on from yesterday’s post Fifty Shades of Rubbish, today’s story is about the mainstream publishing company, HarperCollins, who have released a guide to bondage bedroom play – or BDSM, as it is known to the initiated.  

While it is a lifestyle choice enjoyed, sometimes to extremes, by people across the globe, it is fair to say that the current popularity of BDSM refers to a sort of ‘BDSM lite’ – a tamer, more approachable version of the sexual proclivity.

And that is just what is portrayed in HarperCollins’ new guide. The book, Fifty Ways To Play – which carries the subtitle “BDSM for nice people”.

The book claims to offer 50 ‘edgy and erotic’ adventures which the publisher says are ‘perfect for the millions of readers who have been inspired by the phenomenal Fifty Shades trilogy.’   ‘Fifty Shades has broken down the taboos about BDSM and more women than ever are wanting to spice up their sex lives,’ HarperCollins said. ‘But there is very little out there that shows you how to turn every night into an erotic fantasy.  ‘From turning your bedroom into a ‘Red Room Of Desire [in the Fifty Shades Trilogy it is known as the Red Room Of Pain] to exploring the fine art of Japanese rope bondage, these 50 edgy and erotic adventures make incredible sex incredibly easy,’ they say.

Conveniently for the budding BDSM-er, the book is being packaged up and sold as part of erotic gift sets by www.boxofgrey.com, a website set up for newcomers to the BDSM world.  They have created gift boxes with a selection of props to complement the book, with two different sets on offer to assist the BDSM virgins: the Play Box, which includes a blindfold, paddle, kegel balls and a rope kit, and the Summer Holiday box, which contains a holiday-friendly selection of products that the site says are discreet enough that they can be packed in hand luggage without arousing suspicions during security checks.

All this strangely reminds me of the Paul Simon Song, “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” released in December 1975:

The problem is all inside your head
She said to me
The answer is easy if you
Take it logically
I’d like to help you in your struggle
To be free
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover.

Is the struggle he refers to the chains, ropes and/or handcuffs used in BDSM … you decide!

Best Joke at the Edinburgh Fringe 2012

For the third year running I’ve managed to miss any of the acts playing the Edinburgh Fringe Festival but, if the jokes below are anything to go by, I must make more of an effort next year!

This year, Stewart Francis’s one-liner about David and Victoria Beckham naming their children has won the award for the funniest joke of the Festival.  The Canadian comedian won the award, given out by TV channel Dave, for the joke:

“You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.”

Francis and British comedian Tim Vine’s jokes both feature twice in the top ten best list published by Dave. Other comedians whose jokes made the list include Will Marsh and Rob Beckett.

Tim Vine’s jokes (he won the award for best joke two years ago) were voted into second and sixth place by a public vote of three thousand comedy fans, after Edinburgh jokes were whittled down to a shortlist of 30 by a panel of judges. Here are the top ten jokes chosen this year:

1. Stewart Francis – “You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.”

2. Tim Vine – “Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly. ”

3. Will Marsh – “I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister.”

4. Rob Beckett – “You know you’re working class when your TV is bigger than your book case.”

5. Chris Turner – “I’m good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet … I don’t know why.”

6. Tim Vine – “I took part in the sun tanning Olympics – I just got Bronze.”

7. George Ryegold – “Pornography is often frowned upon, but that’s only because I’m concentrating.”

8. Stewart Francis – “I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!”

9. Lou Sanders – “I waited an hour for my starter so I complained: ‘It’s not rocket salad.”

10. Nish Kumar – “My mum’s so pessimistic, that if there was an Olympics for pessimism … she wouldn’t fancy her chances.”

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